For about the last 8 to 10 years, I've felt that I was finally ready to be a mom. I had finished college, found the man of my dreams, and felt that I was mature enough to handle it. I was scared, for sure, but I knew that it was something I wanted to do - or I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. If I couldn't get pregnant, then that was God's way of saying it wasn't meant to be. I didn't think I wanted to go through any fertility treatments. If it didn't happen naturally, we would probably look into adoption. I hoped that wouldn't be the case, because I really wanted child that was part of me. So when I found out in August of 2012 that I was indeed pregnant, I was very excited, but it also felt VERY unreal. Another part of my desire to have a child was that I knew my parents' time on this earth was pretty limited - their health was bad, and was getting significantly worse all the time - and I really wanted them to meet my baby. I hadn't intended on waiting this long to have a baby, but that's just how it worked out.
We decided we wanted to be as natural as we could with my prenatal care. We were already eating mostly all organic food, so it wasn't a huge lifestyle change. I went to a midwife for my prenatal care. I didn't know what exactly to expect, as I didn't know much about midwives. She and her office were very professional, but also personable and comfortable - unlike any doctors office I had ever been to. I didn't have an ultrasound done until very late in my pregnancy, just to make sure everything looked ok. We didn't want any major surprises when the baby was born, since we weren't going to be delivering in a hospital. Everything went pretty normal - no major morning sickness or anything. I was eating really well, drinking not-so-yummy protein shakes that my hubby handmade for me every morning. It didn't matter to me that they weren't super tasty, though, as I knew it was great for the baby.
Many people said over and over "oh, isn't it just so wonderful being pregnant?" and similar things, and although yes, it was wonderful - it was very weird, too. Mostly so once the baby started moving enough that I could feel it. Talk about a strange sensation. It was so hard to believe that there was a tiny human being in my belly.
On Monday, April 22nd, 2013 (my birthday, incidentally) I decided that it would be my last week of work. I had wanted to work as long as possible, but the baby was "due" that coming Saturday, so I might as well get some rest, as he/she would be here any day. On Friday, I packed up a few things from my desk, said my goodbyes to everyone, and went home - looking forward to some rest before the baby arrived. I only got about 6 hours. Around midnight that same night, my contractions started. So much for getting some rest! And all my worries about how I might not know if I'm in labor were quickly forgotten. There is NO mistaking labor pains. By 5 am, my contractions were 3 minutes apart, so off we went to the birth center. But by 2pm, the contractions had slowed down, so the midwife broke my water, to hopefully help speed things back up again. No such luck. I tried everything. Laying in the tub, sitting on the toilet, squatting, lunging, using the breast pump - but the baby appeared to be stuck sideways in the birth canal. The midwife suggested that we go to the hospital to see if I could try Pitocin and hopefully move things along.
Unfortunately, the understanding as-natural-as-possible-labor sympathic Dr. that my midwife talked to over the phone prior to our arrival was not the same Dr. that met us upon arrival at the hospital. She performed a very painful pelvic exam, and stated simply that the baby was sideways and that I needed to have a C-section. I was so tired (I had been up for 36 hours by now) that I had no strength to argue with her. My husband was beside himself with anger and fear. Our worst nightmare (besides something bad happening to the baby, of course) had come true - we had to have a non-natural delivery for our baby. We knew there would be many drugs involved, as this was in-fact major surgery. But we knew we had no other choice.
So I was prepped for surgery. I didn't even care that they were sticking a huge needle in my spine, and I hate needles of any kind. It was quite a relief when I couldn't feel the contractions anymore, I hate to admit. All I cared about now was seeing our baby. I knew my husband was so upset, but I just had no energy to do anything about it. I tried telling him everything would be fine, but he was just too worried. We knew what was going to happen, and it was nothing good. There are no "natural" drugs for surgery. A few hours later, our baby - a boy - was here, and he was perfect. After a few agonizing minutes, we got to see him and touch him. Finally. He stayed with us the whole time that I was being put back together, and then we got to have some alone time with him in the post-op room. I tried breastfeeding him, but he didn't seem too interested - so I just held him close. He was very sleepy, of course; that had probably been a very traumatic experience for him, as well as I'm sure he received some of the drugs they gave me prior to/during surgery. I try not to think about that, and just pray that nothing hurt him. All that good eating and stuff I did when I was pregnant hopefully gave him some protection! About an hour or so later, the nurse cleared us to go to our own room.
I didn't get much sleep that night, either, even though I was so exhausted. I must have had my 3rd or 4th wind by then. I just held him and stared at him all night long. I may have drifted off a little here and there, but in a hospital, you know you don't sleep much. Too many people coming in every 5 minutes to check something. We didn't let him out of our sight. And I don't think he spent more than a few minutes in his plastic "crib." By Sunday afternoon, I was starting to feel the pain. I couldn't believe how sore I was. I couldn't get out of the bed without assistance. I relented and gave in to taking some ibuprofen. Then on Monday, a day and a half after my surgery, they gave us the ok to go home. Time to start my new life as a Mother.
I'm looking forward to MORE Dina!!
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