I have just recently come to terms with the fact that the time I have to spend with him is ok, and he's doing just fine. I was having a hard time being completely comfortable with the fact that I'm working full-time and that some days I only get to spend a few hours with him. I'm not 100% happy about it, but at least I'm not as anxious about it as I used to be.
It's awesome to come home from work and have him light up when he sees me - and either crawl like a madman towards me or practically jump out of my husband's arms to come and see me. That makes my day, every day. It never gets old.
I am fascinated by how much he's learned in only one year, and how quickly he learns new things - no matter how small they are. Like how to drink from a cup. It's funny how you notice this kind of stuff so much more when it's your own kid, and how fascinating and exciting it is. I don't know if it's just because I'm his mom or what. It's pretty cool, whatever it is.
No, my life isn't all roses and lollipops, but I do try to stay positive amongst a lot of negativity that surrounds me on an almost daily basis. Some days it gets to me, and I fall into the trap of negative thinking. I guess that's human nature. I just try to keep those days to a minimum, and know that things can always be a lot worse. Tomorrow is a new day - who knows what's going to happen?
I love living in south Florida; winters here are heavenly, except for all the snowbirds. Yeah, I know that if it weren't for them, I probably wouldn't have a job. But especially after this past winter, I'm very glad they're gone. The traffic was awful, restaurants were always packed, and the stores were insanely busy. But the worst part about living here is not having my extended family (and some very good friends) near by. Not being able to see them whenever I want to sucks big time. I know it was my decision to move so far away from them, so I have to deal with it, and just try to go and visit them whenever I can.
On a completely separate note, I'm a huge believer in karma - both good and bad. It usually takes a lot longer than I prefer fo karma to work it's magic, but nevertheless, I think it exists. I really hope that karma helps us to have some great experiences this year. So far, it has been a relatively decent 4 1/2 months for us. No major illnesses, no accidents, no huge mistakes (knock on wood.) I did recently lose yet another family member, so that wasn't great. But she and her immediate family were really suffering a great deal in her last days, so I am thankful that she is no longer in pain, and that now the family (especially her children and grandchildren) can begin to heal. It's crazy to think that in less than one year, the last three of my grandmother's sisters have all left this earth. That's a total of six people in my family, including my parents and my aunt. Still hard to believe. Our family really needs a break!
But the point of this story is that I have a lot to be happy about. Even though there are many things that aren't so great in my life, the things and people who matter the most make everything pretty darn good. One last example: Hubby, baby and I took a walk tonight, as the sun was going down. The weather was perfect, and it was so enjoyable and relaxing. Such simple things like that often give me the greatest joy.
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